Monday Morning Reflections

I work so hard not to let my illness and my various health issues define me. The gratitude I feel and share with the world is real. It’s sacred. It has sustained me many times when I couldn’t see the hope, the future, or a place for me in it. Gratitude saved my life. 

Yet there are moments such as now when I wonder if I’m like the emperor who has no clothes, refusing to see what is so clear to everyone else. And what they see is broken, damaged, at times a burden, at times an anchor, a woman not able to rise above her challenges no matter how hard she tries. 

Maybe it’s just a passing thing, maybe I’m feeling the flames of “not enoughness” nipping at my heels as I try to walk, walk, walk my way back to myself. Some days it’s hard. And that’s the unvarnished truth of it. Hard. But still worth the trying.

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